then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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