if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize