After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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