Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize