I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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