I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize