That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize