is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize