i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize