Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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