she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize