I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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