so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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