Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
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He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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