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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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