Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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