I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize