I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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