Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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