I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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