Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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