I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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