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How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Randomize
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