so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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