this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the right to judge tonight
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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