used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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