You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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