Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(239): View more from Florida

I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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(239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y

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(212): View more from New York

I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.

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(212): I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet. http://tfl.nu/8wa0

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(410): View more from Maryland

hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock

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(410): hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock http://tfl.nu/0euc

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(410): View more from Maryland

we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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(410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc

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(518): View more from New York

woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so

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(518): woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so http://tfl.nu/1jbm

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(703): View more from Virginia

i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated

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(703): i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated http://tfl.nu/8rnc

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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(651): I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle. http://tfl.nu/juw9

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(805): View more from California

a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot

(818): View more from California

god is laughing at you again

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(805): a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot (818): god is laughing at you again http://tfl.nu/4fg3

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(949): View more from California

Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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(949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0

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(510): View more from California

note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.

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(510): note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast. http://tfl.nu/6g44

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(585): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"

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(585): I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome" http://tfl.nu/e453

Replies (4) Good night (4445) Bad night (767)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?

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(515): Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/s6e2

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(518): View more from New York

Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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(518): Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet http://tfl.nu/g9l7

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on

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(609): Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on http://tfl.nu/f543

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(727): View more from Florida

On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired

(727): View more from Florida

I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me

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(727): On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired (727): I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me http://tfl.nu/zcpy

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