he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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