Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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