She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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