apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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