i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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