Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize