If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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