This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he told me I talked like a deaf person
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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