Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Everclear isn't food dammit
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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