Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize