What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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