evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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