we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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