I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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