Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just googled if crying burns calories
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He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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