checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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