Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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