also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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