Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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