yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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