I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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