You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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